The Broken and The Holy

it has never happened before

but it did this time

i entered a contest

and won a round trip airplane ticket

and one week free stay at a hotel

at sieska key beach, florida

years ago i came to

the beaches at

clearwater, tampa,

orlando and panama city,

florida . . .

i became a beach bum

and

loved

it

i wrote poetry

and short stories

and started a novel

back then I was in my

late teens

i thought this life would be

would last forever

with seagulls flying over

and white sand to sleep on

it did not last

i moved in the midwest

to work and pay bills

the best way i could

working on an assembly line

and later

selling things

for different companies

it has been many years

since I

first visited the beaches

now i am at

sieska key beach

only

because i entered

a contest and won

i can’t afford to stay

or to come back later

the sand is pure white

and the people are friendly

i may not

go

back home

i understand

more than she knows

she knows of my involvement

and love of Christianity

and wants to know

if she is ready

really ready

if she does not make it

through a

serious operation

she says she accepted Jesus Christ

as her personal savior

at age 14

but has not lived the live she

thinks she should have

now she is frightened

and tonight

she is asking me

if there is any forgiveness

she should ask for

i may be the wrong person to ask

i believe she is saved and will go to heaven

as she made that decision at 14 years old

when she repented of her sins

i know her fears are overwhelming

as I sit with her

and we read scriptures together

i hope I assured her

she will step into heaven

if she does not awaken

we eat a snack at a sandwich shop

she leaves with

a peace

i hope my advice

was Biblical

it can be

a little prayer . . .

it  works

i called a friend

soon going into surgery

she was frightened

i was not sure what she would say

i asked if it would be okay if i prayed for her

she was silent

for several minutes

then she said

don’t you think it’s too late to pray?

i guaranteed that it is never too late

and i would send a prayer each time

i thought about her

she said nothing

for several minutes

than fighting tears

she said “no one ever offered

to pray for me before”

i came  to this

sandwich shop

to have the right atmosphere

to relax

to think about my life,

and write a few poems

i order a turkey and cheese sandwich

I take a few bites

and put a few words on napkins

it’s  cold

the words won’t flow

no one else is eating

it’s a sad place to be

i leave my sandwich half eaten

and go home

it’s cold for thanksgiving day

i was invited here at

cocoa beach village, florida

to give a poetry reading

and no one

greeted me

as i stepped off

the bus

i call my contact person

who arranged this

no one answered

there were supposed to be

several people attending at

the historic collage village playhouse

as i read poems for two hours

followed by a reception

of tasty food

but here i am

no one answers

and it is so lonely

and cold

i have no other person to call

i have no other place to go

i hunt for a cheap motel

and find one named

budget motel

then i hunt a gas station

for canned food that will be

thanksgiving dinner

it’s going to be

a very

lonely night

and I sit and wonder

what to do next

i was in my teens

when I knew I wanted live by my writing

(it was only a dream and hope)

and for awhile

i wrote and published

and traveled to different towns and cities

giving poetry readings

and signing  books at bookstores

yes i had  a lot

of fun times during this time

life interrupted my plans

books stopped selling

and i took job after job after job

years came and went

and now

i’m back to writing

for those who enjoy my thoughts

i don’t send my poems

to magazines anymore

One day

I will read my poems on

YouTube

(i  want to get a black hat like Bob Dylan

wears on concerts  before reading

my notes and poems

on YouTube)