Archive | January, 2016

Jesus, i’m running with you today

25 Jan

hi Jesus

others may not like what I am sharing

but I do believe in you

and I am leaning on your today

for support

 

I have been waking up depressed

and today I decided to

think of you every moment of the day

(and I realize this is not entirely possible)

and ask you to take my troubles

and work them out for my good

 

thanks for your promise to be there

for me

in these tough times

I am sorry for forgetting to give you thanks

during the  good times

 

But Jesus

I am truly

running with you

today

 

will creativity return?

23 Jan

what

a question

 

I remember

words flowing

and writing 2-page poems

without stopping

 

and as I wrote  each word

not knowing what would follow

it was  “inspiration”

like only inspiration  can be

in its finest and purest

essence

 

each day was filled with

emotions that would be written

and later

I strived to find a way to have

these emotions ….. I’ll call them poems….

published in book form

 

youth finds a way

to make a way when there

appears to be no way

 

maybe because

at that time of life

nothing is impossible

and the energy we have then….

wow,  we have the energy to go

the extra mile

until we reach, or partly reach

our goals

 

then the reality of life

knocks on our door

and says, lights out

you gotta earn a living

do what others are doing

have a family

and go to college if you are able

 

and the cost

is more than money —

it is giving up creativity

to find the jobs

to secure the future

 

now, too many years later

I am retracing my steps

to find where my creativity went

 

maybe there is time to find

inspiration again

and finish the dream

I began

oh my! the box of letters

22 Jan

cleaning out old papers

giving away old books

I ran across a box of letters

 

I sat in a chair

and read one after another

the letters were from readers

of my own published books

(out of print now)

these letters were dated long ago

 

those who wrote to me said

they read my books

because of the pure sadness I expressed

some said I was depressed, like they were

 

I never saw myself as writing depressing  poetry

until another person wrote

that the emotional pain I shared

(in relationships that did not work out)

did not give them relief from their own depression

 

but

the breakups I  I wrote about

and how intense pain I felt

gave them companionship

as they went through their depression

 

one woman said my sorrow

(as she understood it in my poetry)

helped her make it through

the tough Christmas seasons

when she lost so much

 

one never knows where our words

will end up

and whether they will heal

someone going through the same pain

 

i never had a beach house

15 Jan

this is another sad poem

it goes like this

 

i was in my teens

and pictured in my mind

living in a beach house

with a small boat

living as a writer

 

this world

would include no worries

just fun and love

and

living off the money from

poems published in magazines

and poetry book sales

 

by now you

know how it turned out

 

it went like this . . .

 

i had a good beginning —

religious magazines

gladly paid for poems

and sent me magazines

when poems were published

 

book sales

were slow for a couple of years

and for no apparent reason

began selling throughout here

and then Canada and England

 

i am not sure what happened next

or why . . .

 

it was like someone

flipped a light switch off

 

and that dream

of the cabin and boat on the beach

disappeared

friday night alone

9 Jan

didn’t everyone

use to call friday night

the official date night?

 

it’s now friday night

i’m at a mall

 

i see others

sitting and texting

 

i feel their hurt after

their texting  ends

they stand up

and walk slowly down the mall

 

i guess whoever they texted

had plans

other plans

that would not include them

 

it has always been this way

that is . . .

lonely people

looking for someone

to pass the hours with

during the weekends

 

 

he will never talk with her again

7 Jan

something was wrong

 

I could tell

by the hard knocking

on my door

 

we were always close friends

and today

he needed a friend

in the worse way

 

my friend and his wife

had argued the night before . . .

the arguments were about

nothing important

he was just in one of his moods

 

he became so heated

with unkind words that

 

she left the house

got into her car

and drove off in order to

cool down

 

within  minutes

a car drifted head-on

into her lane

 

the ambulance came

it took too long

 

she died in

the flames

of the wreck

 

my friend

now in my home

could only say a word or two

between sobs

 

i did gather enough

words to hear him say

 

“i would give up everything

to have her back

for one more day”

once it was easy

6 Jan

many years ago

it was easy

life seemed fun

writing poems was easy

 

now many years passed

i am self-conscious

of each word i write

i wonder if the reader

will understand

what i am writing

 

i once did not have these worries

i wrote how i felt

and now i am slow

about sharing my thoughts

he did not know how to tell her “i love you”

6 Jan

the young man cried

cause he wanted

his wife to stay with him

 

when he met her

words of love flowed

from his lips

 

work, pressures and children

have caused him to forget

how he once was

 

and his wife

his beautiful wife

feels unloved

and is thinking of leaving him

 

his tears are real

he does not know how

things have changed

so fast

 

but he is willing to

make changes

 

give me wisdom

with what to share with him

to help repair

the damage

 

lord jesus,

I depend on you

for the words to help

keep this marriage together

amen

walk with me today, jesus

6 Jan

it’s will be a

hard long day

 

i woke up with anxiety

about what i have to do

 

i worry about pleasing others

and

i try not to let friends down

 

sometime i say

or do the wrong things

that hurt people

instead of build them up

 

no matter how the day

ends up

at the end of the day

i know i have the pleasure

of  talking with you

 

thanks for being there

for me,  jesus

what would i ask jesus

3 Jan

if I  was facing jesus

and  knew it was him

what questions would

i ask?

 

would it be a question

about the work i do?

 

would he be concerned

with who i hung out with?

 

would he like how i spent

my free time?

 

would his answers

cause me to treat others differently?

 

would  his responses cause me

to talk to him

more often in prayer?

 

would he help me

believe things are

better in the afterlife?

 

would he tell me if

i will see my friends

and family?

and if i would i see my dog named tippy

and other pets I had

when i get to heaven?

 

 

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