I was too shy to have a friend

27 Apr

I was always afraid I would say something
that would make you turn away
and not be my friend

Looking back I was insecure
not sure if I was the kind of guy
worthy of being your friend
or anyone’s friend

A boy offered me cookies during class
(vanilla wafers)
it seemed like yesterday
but it was in the first grade
and I was happy he wanted
to be nice to me

I was shy and always have been shy
(they call it being an introvert)
I have never been certain
of what to say
to make friends

this continued through high school
I was not one who knew how to talk about
fancy clothing with certain clothing labels
my parents took me to sears
to buy slacks and shirts once a year
usually just before school began

I admired the guys who dated
and had cars
and were on the sports teams
I did not have that going for me
I sat by myself at tables
in the school café
I feared if I sat down with the
popular kids
they would ask me to get up and leave

often I
ate alone
at a lonely table

I wanted to ask girls for dates
at my own high school
instead I went to dances and mixers
at other high schools
and met girls who did not know how
shy I was
many times we had fun
but the relationships did not last

those were my high school years
I thought this was a good night
to share them with you

thanks for listening

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